Rain
by Staz
Summary: A missing scene and a continuation to Adrift II, I refuse to believe that's how it should have gone.
1. Let it rain

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em or anything mentioned in this story, except maybe the spiraling thought system. On second thought, not even that.

Summary: a missing scene from Adrift II, right before we see Mac standing in the rain outside Harm's apartment.

**Rain**

Her simple knock on his door seemed to reverberate inside her head.

She still didn't know what she was doing or why. Autopilot seemed to be the night's motif. It was as if her mind was completely detached from her body, just watching it move and talk on its own accord.

The door opened immediately and there was Harm.

"Mac. Rene's father died. Suddenly, heart failure. She just got here."

Mac looked inside his apartment to see the blond woman lying on his couch, apparently asleep. Something was starting to wrench her insides.

"I can't do this now… I told her I'd fly back with her. I should be.. I should be gone a couple of days. I'm sorry."

Pure mental strength kept her looking nonchalant and formed a quick response,

"No, no, you have to go." She even managed to flick her eyes up to his.

"I'll call you when we land."

"Don't do that to her. She needs you, give her your full attention." Her mind screamed at him, 'But I need you too! God, Harm, how does it always get so messed up with us!'

He looked at her skeptically, as if reading her mind, "What about you?"

She sighed. Harm knew her better than she cared to admit. "I'll be ok… when you get back.."

He looked a bit shocked at her open admission. Just then Renee chose to move and mumble in her sleep and their bond was momentarily severed as he looked to his current girlfriend. When he looked back at Mac she did her best to put on an understanding smile… failing miserably. Harm looked as if he was saying something but the words weren't actually forming on his lips.

Mac took a long look into his eyes, new control taking over her body and mind. 'well you knew it was never going to work' that nagging voice in her mind sneered at her, 'there's always an excuse with you two. You'll get over it. You always do!'

"Bye, Harm." She whispered and started turning away.

Just as she was almost out of his reach, she felt his hand close around hers.

She turned back ever so slowly to find he'd followed her out to the hall and was trying to close his door quietly.

Mac remained glued to the spot, not even beginning to know how to deal with this latest twist. Apparently, Harm decided to say something after all.

Harm let her fingers slide from his as he faced her fully.

"We will see this through, you know. You and me."

She sighed, her control failing for a moment. "You think?"

He smiled that smile of his, "I know..." and he took a step closer to her, leaning hard on his walking stick.

It took every ounce of her resolve and strength to hold herself upright and apart from him, he was so close and all she wanted was to feel his arms around her.

Mac took one more shot at keeping things light, at keeping them both safe with Rene in the apartment behind him, "I thought I was the psychic one…"

Harm smiled, and brought his free hand up to caress her face. She closed her eyes at his tender touch and almost collapsed as she felt his lips on hers a second later.

He held her close and kissed her.

She responded fully, her need for him almost overwhelming.

Finally, when they were both out of breath, he pulled slightly apart and then whispered in her ear, "You may see the past and present, but I see the future…"

Mac pulled back to see him smiling widely at her.

She took a deep breath, managed a small smile and with a hand on his chest pushed him slightly backwards.

"Go to her, she needs you."

He said nothing. His thumb passed over her face, as if imprinting her features into his hand, memorizing her. He caressed her elegant eyebrows, slightly dampened cheek, her chin and over her lips.

She couldn't stand it anymore and she started walking slowly away from him, first facing him, then finally turning around. She didn't look back, but heard him opening the door and going back in.

Her body walked downstairs and outside.

Rain was starting to come down, reflecting her soul and effectively hiding her tears. She looked up to his window and her stomach tied itself in a thousand knots as she saw him hugging Rene.

Where was the justice in the world! Mic had left her because of Harm, and now that she was so close to being with Harm, this too? She felt like screaming and yet had no strength to do anything but stand there and stare at his window. The rain washed away whatever strength she thought she had left, mental and physical.

Later, dry and warm in her bed she wondered what force got her to walk to her car and drive home. She had no idea how to stop that autopilot and quite frankly wasn't sure she wanted to, for fear of the thoughts that would enter her mind if she did. Luckily enough she was exhausted and fell asleep almost immediately. The last thought drifting through her mind was a flimsy shred of hope that only dared show itself just before she fell asleep when all her defenses were down and wouldn't attack it, 'maybe, just maybe, I will be okay when he comes back… maybe we'll finally get it right…"


	2. A break in the clouds

Disclaimer: do I really need to say this again? I don't own them or anything else. Sigh.

A/N: This picks up after Adrift II with utter disregard to the following episodes.

A/N2: Thank you all sooooo much for the kind reviews, they did convince me to go on with the story. Keep 'em coming! ;-)

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The next morning Sarah MacKenzie woke up with new resolve. She was strong, independent, smart and headstrong, she'd go on doing her job the best she could and enjoy time with her friends and she'd be just fine.

That held until Chloe called. 'I know what happened. Harm happened'

Story of my life, she thought to herself.

Then her mind decided to start doing loops. What did he mean? What will they do when he comes back? Would he leave Rene? Would they even be able to actually start a relationship, let alone keep it alive and well? What would the admiral say?

She decided to try and outrun it. Not surprisingly, that didn't work. But running did help a bit, even if just to get her body up and at 'em.

As she'd done more times than she could count, she threw herself into her work as distraction.

She sat engrossed in one of her cases when she heard a light tap on her door, followed by a quiet "Ma'am?"

"Yeah, Harriet?" she answered, not even lifting her head from the file. The silence and the sound of the door closing finally got her attention.

"Ma'am… I hate to be asking this sort of question again… but rumors are flying around… and well…"

"Harriet. Stop. I know." Mac sighed and covered her face with her hands momentarily. Finally drawing her eyes up to the petite woman in front of her she gestured to one of her guest chairs.

Harriet sat down slowly, then leaned forward, as if anticipating a whispered conversation.

Suddenly feeling trapped, Mac got up from her chair to face the window.

"Mic and I are over, Harriet. He's gone. As in not coming back. Not ever."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am"

Mac gave a short, nervous laugh. "You know the saddest part? I'm not even that upset!"

Pacing seemed like a better idea than staring outside.

"Here I am, about to marry this man, when all of a sudden I'm back here, he's back in Australia, Harm's back with the blond, and the pathetic show I call my life is once again a monologue!"

She was ranting, she knew it. She also knew Harriet didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of her outburst, but the part of her brain that held the control was at the moment gagged and tied to a cranial bone.

"And that selfish bastard had the nerve to kiss me. Kiss me, Harriet, right before he left!"

"Mic, Ma'am?" Harriet was trying to keep up while not getting in the way of an angry Marine.

"Who? No! Harm. That son of a bitch.. He kissed me… and I…" she stopped mid-rant to find herself back behind her desk. The energy seemed to seep out of her body as the sensations that kiss caused tingled through her muscles once again and coursed through them, becoming a weakening throb at her core. She sank into her chair and closed her eyes, forgetting completely that she wasn't alone.

"And I kissed him back.." she sighed again.

"Was it that bad?"

Harriet's quiet question almost gave Mac a heart attack as her hand covered it's quickened beat.

"Oh… Harriet.. I'm so sorry. You didn't need to hear that, I can't believe I.." she shook her head, disgusted with herself. "I'm sorry."

"Are you sorry you kissed him back?"

Mac's head shot up at that, only to see Harriet smiling mischievously at her.

"What? Harriet!" if her eyebrows weren't meeting her hairline, they were damn close.

"Well, are you?"

"Well.. no! but.."

"But what, Colonel? It's complicated?" the sarcasm could not be mistaken.

Mac sighed, no use trying to fool this woman.

"I just don't know..."

Harriet smiled serenely, and received a hopeful smile in return, "It'll be alright, Ma'am, you'll see." Getting up and opening the door, she threw back a whisper with a wink, "Now I'll leave you to fantasize some more about that kiss..." The door closed before a response could form.

Mac turned back to the paper that had consumed her attention for the last hour or so, not before allowing one final wish to escape her lips, "I really need you to come back and make me feel again..."

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(Harm's POV)

I really don't wanna be here.

This specific thought has been going through my mind like those old screen savers that had one sentence scrolling repeatedly through your screen. It's bouncing around in my brain so much I'm afraid I might make a Freudian slip. Right now I'm standing with Rene's mom trying very hard to look like I'm interested in what she's saying. Is she actually talking about caskets, now?

I really don't wanna be here.

What I want, what I need, is very simple – I need to see Mac. I need to kiss her again. Damn, that woman is amazing.

I also need to figure out exactly what I'm going to do. Rene is going through a hard time, I can't just up and leave her, no matter how much I want to.

Finally freed by Rene's mother, I take one last look at Rene who's still reminiscing and wander outside.

I didn't call Mac until now. I said I would, though she told me not to, but I didn't have a minute alone until now. Getting out my cell phone I hit her speed-dial.

"MacKenzie."

"Hey, jarhead!"

"Commander." Her voice is pleased, but controlled.

"Bad timing I assume?" And isn't it always with us.

"Everything is under control, Commander, when can we expect you back?"

"Oh, a couple of days, I hope."

"Give our condolences to Rene and her family."

"Thank you, I will."

"Goodbye, Commander."

"Bye, Mac."

With a sigh I end the call. Not exactly what I'd hoped for. Was it really that she couldn't speak freely at the moment? Or maybe what happened was born of confused emotions due to Mic's unexpected departure and she was trying to let me know our relationship is that of friends and partners solely? Those thoughts won't due. I push them away and focus on how I'm going to help Rene get through the next few days.

I really need to get back home.

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TBC

I'm having some problems remembering exactly how things went down in the episodes, so if I have mistakes or forgotten details you think are important, please let me know.


	3. Here comes the sun

Disclaimer: Big surprise – I own nothing.

A/N: This will be the final chapter, hope you like it. I just had to get Mic's side of the story in. I have a friend who went through a similar situation from that unfortunate side, so even though she won't read this, I dedicate the first part of this chapter to her...

Feedback is more than welcomed. Again, thank you thank you thank you to the wonderful reviewers, you guys make this more fun than it already is.

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Someone up there must really hate me. Harm just had to call at the most inconvenient time with both the Admiral and Singer, of all people, in my office listening intently. It was good to hear his voice, though.

Now I'm home. I'm bored, it's late, I'm not tired and there's nothing good on TV. I can't call Harm. Who knows where I'd catch him and I really don't want a replay of our last conversation with him being formal.

I wonder how Mic's doing. Poor man, gave me everything and got the door slammed in his face. I really should talk to him, apologize at the very least. No time like the present, after all it's past noon in Australia.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mic."

"Sarah?"

"Yeah, it's me. How was the flight back?"

"Miserable." Not one for sugarcoating things, that Mic.

"Mic... I'm sorry."

"I know, Sarah, I'm sorry my love for you wasn't enough."

"Oh, Mic..." I'm crying silently now. Bless him, the man isn't even bitter. He deserves so much better.

"Hey, no crying over the phone, it's a known rule!"

And now I'm crying and laughing together.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. You deserve much better than me."

"Don't even think that. You'll be alright."

Why does everybody keep telling me that! "How do you know that?"

"He'll wake up and love you and you'll never be alone again."

I'm shocked into silence.

"Goodbye, beautiful."

"Thank you, Mic."

He hangs up and I'm left staring at the phone. He was talking about Harm, right? Or was that a general statement? I've got to stop second guessing myself.

And I'm back to square one. I am bored. Too bad there isn't a time difference between me and Chloe, I need to talk to her again. I hate having her mad at me, even if she's right. Whatever happened to just being happy for me no matter what? Besides, she was the one who told me I was in love with my partner back when Mic wasn't even in the picture. Should've listen to her back then – would've saved a lot of people a lot of pain. Then again being smart in retrospect is always easier.

I'm about to launch into another debate when a knock at the door saves me from myself. Oh please, oh please, oh please let it be him.

"Coming!"

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Finally, finally, finally home.

I'm standing in front of her door, have been for the last couple of minutes. I went to my apartment, threw my stuff on the floor, took a shower and was out the door.

So now, like some 15 year-old I'm trying to calm myself before knocking on her door. Maybe I should've waited till tomorrow at work... maybe she's asleep already. Oh, for Pete's sake, she's my best friend! I finally knock.

"Come in!"

Was that 'come in' or 'coming'? Oh well. I open the door and find her walking from her bedroom in her pajamas, phone in hand. Are those tears she's wiping away? My thoughts screech to a stop at the brilliant smile that lights up her face when she sees me.

"You're back."

Suddenly she's in my arms and holding on to me for dear life. Admittedly I'm doing the same. The urge to kiss her is back in full force.

I pull back a bit, just enough to lean my forehead against hers without breaking any contact between our bodies. The feel of her fills me to the brink and I take a deep breath.

"Harm..."

It's her voice that does me in and my mouth is on hers in a not so gentle kiss. Mac's not one to be idle and as her tongue meets mine I sigh into her mouth and tighten my hold on her. The kiss softens and breaks to short sweet ones. Her hands are in my hair, I can't think straight. Now they're moving to my chest. She's pulling away, but I'm not ready to have any space between us just yet and I follow her to catch her lips with mine. I can feel her smile and her hands moving to cup my face. This time when she pulls back I just sigh and open my eyes to find hers, glistening at me.

"I've been dying to do that since I left." I admit.

She gives a short laugh then takes a deep breath, her eyes downcast as she whispers, "Thank god..."

Did she have doubts? I lift her head to look in her eyes.

"You're not sure?" I meant to say weren't, but that seemed to break something in her because she broke away completely and started walking the other way.

Suddenly cold without her against me and not just a little confused, I reach out to grab her, but she's a quick little Marine.

"Mac. What's wrong?"

"Damn it, Harm!"

What did I say? What did I do? Maybe I'd better shut up and wait patiently, if I open my mouth I just might get myself kicked out.

She's staring out the window, arms wrapped around herself.

"I did love him, you know?"

Just shut up and nod. She's not even looking at me, though.

"At least... I think I did... I don't even know anymore."

I step closer, but not too close, I don't want to startle her and I do believe this is going somewhere.

"He said that I just didn't want to be alone..."

Suddenly she turns to me and I can see the tears. I've seen her cry this week more times than I have since I met her. Damn you, Brumby. I'd punch him in the face if I could.

"What if he's right?" She asks me and for a moment I have no idea what to say. Then I reach for her and she willingly steps back into my embrace.

"Hey, it's alright to not want to be alone, ninja-girl." She smiles sadly at me and I flash her a bright one back. "It's even perfectly normal for some people."

I kiss her briefly, unbelievably relieved when she doesn't back away.

"Besides, this... between us, is so much more than that. Don't you feel it?"

My heart's on my sleeve. God, please let her want this as much as I do.

Her eyes drift shut and she presses closer still, burying her head in the crook of my neck. She's taking deep breaths and logically I know she wants to gather herself so she can answer me honestly and without any doubt but it's killing me slowly.

I'm still trying to calm myself and convince myself to stay put when I feel her nose nudging mine and a second later our lips meet. "I do feel it." She has a knack for catching me off-guard.

My relief is tangible and I kiss her for all I'm worth then lift her off the floor and spin us around. She breaks into laughter and it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

I lead us to the couch, as my knees are starting to protest. I sit down and she moves to sit beside me but I pull her down to my lap. There's no way I'm letting her as far away as next to me when this is so much more comfortable.

We just sit in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly she straightens to look me in the eyes.

"How's Rene?"

I knew this was too good to be true. My hands tighten on her unconsciously as I send my second prayer for the evening towards heaven.

"As well as can be expected, I guess." Deep breath. "She stayed with her family and her ex-boyfriend." She's nodding her understanding and waiting for more. "I told her I had to get back to a certain brunette." I say with a grin. To which I get smacked.

"Harmon Rabb, you did not." She's trying to stay serious but there's a smile tugging at her lips.

"Well, no, but she wouldn't have noticed if I had."

"Somehow, I find that doubtful. Seriously, Harm..."

I know what she's trying so hard not to ask, so I plunge in. The sooner we get this over with the better. "I couldn't say anything, I will when she gets back" My heart is pleading with hers to understand, "But it's been over for a while in any case, we both knew it."

She silences me with a finger to my lips.

"I understand."

I heave a sigh of relief and she smiles.

"It was all your fault, you know."

Mac throws her hand to her chest and opens her mouth in mock hurt, "Me!"

"Yeah, Rene just couldn't get past this thing with us." I repeat her words from the night Mic left.

After a long, slow kiss I get my response, "Maybe that's because we couldn't..."

"Couldn't?"

"Couldn't." kiss "Can't." kiss "Won't ever."

Mac's pulling me to her and leaning backwards and I move so that she's now lying on the couch and I'm on top of her. I simply can not get enough of her mouth, and she's just as eager to explore every surface of mine. I feel like I'm melting into her. I'm surrounded by her.

"Harm.." She manages to whisper between kisses.

"Yeah?" the 'conversation' is paused in favor of a few more kisses.

"For the record... I've wanted to do this since I saw you at the hospital."

I pause to look at her, and she's smiling that lopsided smile of hers.

"If only they had left us alone for five minutes..."

I suddenly have a metal image of Mac kissing me senseless at Bethesda. And I just have to tease, "I wasn't breathing that well back then, you would have killed me with your enthusiasm." I throw a wink for good measure, then duck my head before she can reply and press a trail of kisses along her collar-bone and up her neck to her ear. "Then again, I would've died a happy man..."

Her strong hands pull my face back to hers. "A very happy man." She stresses and laughs.

Unexplainably, I'm unable to control a yawn that escapes me. I really haven't slept well recently, what with nightmares of the crash and day dreams about Mac keeping me from a good shut-eye. Of course, this has Mac laughing at me, "Come on, Flyboy. Off to bed with you."

But I don't want to leave, the five year old inside of me is whining. That must've been evident on my face because I get another laugh as she scrambles to get up from under me and then offers me her hand, "That is, off to my bed with you." I don't think I've never been this happy to go to bed.

Mac finds some cloths of mine that I left here sometime and locks up.

Finally in bed, I gather her close to me, fitting the sheets around us.

I kiss her head and close my eyes. Home at last. "Good night, Sarah."

"It is now..." I hear her sigh.

Her leg wraps around mine and I just have to kiss her again. I find her lips in the dark and kiss her very slowly, almost lazily. Mac responds and I'm thinking I have to file this memory and cherish it because something this perfect can't possibly happen twice in a lifetime. When we finally pull apart I can see beyond the Marine, beyond Mac, beyond Sarah, to the woman that is all of that and so much more.

"We'll get it right, Sarah, I promise."

"This is definitely a good way to start, Harm. Most definitely."

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I really think I can call this The End now. All's well that ends well, right?


End file.
